Why purpose of life is not marraige

Why purpose of life is not marriage _________________________ Let me tell you a story on why every woman must think sensibly for herself and her wellbeing, before getting into something as serious and responsible as marriage. A friend of mine who studied with me for plus two (I am currently doing my second year BA in political science at the University College in Kerala) decided to get married due to family pressure, recently. On the eve of her wedding, I casually asked her, if she knew anything about first night and stuff like that. Her semi-dismissive response shocked me. “Why do I need to know? My husband will know all these things,” she shrugged off. I sincerely hope that she is getting married to some descendant of Vatsyayana (the compiler of Kamasutra) who is well-versed in the 64 arts of sex. Since that’s highly unlikely, I told her the truth: that for men the primary source of sex education in India today is pornography, because talking about sex is not a part of our ‘sanskari’ culture anymore. My friend had absolutely no clue about the importance of consent in a relationship or the need for building intimacy before sex. Suddenly, she began to get very nervous. “Oh, I thought at least my mother would have told me about all these things,” she mumbled. I don’t blame her mother, because most probably that’s how she too would have got married. After all isn’t it the duty of a wife to give pleasure, not receive it? I don’t get women who try to convince themselves, saying that there is nothing you need to know about sex. Sex is a partnership, which means it involves two individuals with distinct bodies and minds. How can you make it work, if both of you are not on the same bed sheet? Don’t you want any equality in your bedroom? Women are not baby making machines to be disposed of in marriage. Marriage is not the purpose of life. If parents are genuinely interested in ensuring the welfare of their daughters, let them provide them with quality education, sex education included, and make them financially independent first. Because when you stand on your own legs, you will be able to take decisions on your own. I know that can be tough for many to digest. Because when that happens, many women will also realise that marriage is not a necessity, but a choice. Thapasya M. is a VVOX evangelist and BA political science student

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